More than anything, a girl dreams for a perfect bridesmaid who would help and support her during the most important time of her life – the perfect wedding she has always fancied! Your bridesmaid is the person who is there to assist you and not let you fall into the dark side of bridezilla town. However, we can’t all have our cake and eat it too. You might not be ready for this fiasco, but it is not rare to end up with a bad bridesmaid.
Firing your own bridesmaid is not the most ideal situation, especially when you have been looking forward to leaning on her throughout the stress of planning the wedding and expecting her to plan the best bridal shower you can ever imagine. It can be pretty hard; however, it has to be done!
You’ve Hit Last Resort: Firing the Bad Bridesmaid
Believe me, you don’t want that added stress of dealing with an infuriating bridesmaid whilst you are stuck between the decision of choosing flawless flower centerpieces and the caterer’s annoying suggestions about the menu for the wedding, so don’t avoid making the decision of firing a bad bridesmaid.
However, making an impulsive decision on the basis of emotions running high is also something we won’t recommend. It is best to make a list of all the pros and cons of firing a bad bridesmaid so that you can have enough time to make a rational decision about the situation. If the pros outweigh the cons, it is time to fire your bad bridesmaid! Here we have penned down the most common questions that brides often deal with when they decide on firing a bad bridesmaid.
What does a bad bridesmaid look like?
Here are a few things you might be able to spot in a bad bridesmaid:
- You have seen her rolling her eyes when you talk about your requirements, and you don’t sense any interest from her side in the matters of the wedding planning. She is too lazy or irresponsible to respond or act when needed. This kind of a bridesmaid often won’t text or call you back and isn’t active in the bridesmaid group chat you set up to make it easier for everyone.
- You feel that she is not supportive and can be rather mean and negative at times. Other members of your bridal party have picked up on this negative energy and have even spoken to you about it.
- You see her fighting with the others and creating disruptions. A bad bridesmaid will try to create more problems than solve any and would argue with others instead of uniting with them for your benefit.
- Instead of making the wedding about you, she is stealing the thunder and making it all about herself. She wants you to make the bridesmaid dress decision based on her opinion and can’t stop fixating over her date for the event. You can even see her getting jealous of how you are getting married and she is still single.
When is it okay for me to fire a bad bridesmaid?
If you end up with a great bridesmaid with good traits and an amazing personality, you are truly blessed! But if you’re like a good portion of brides out there, you have at least one bridesmaid who depicts the qualities we discussed in the last question. But when has a bridesmaid gone too far? When is it okay to finally put your foot down and fire the bad bridesmaid? There are a few steps you have to take before making the decision to fire a bad bridesmaid. Check out the steps below:
- You have had multiple conversations with her in which you’ve let her know how her behavior is negatively affecting you and the wedding party but she has not changed it. When you explain to her and she dismisses you or doesn’t come up to your expectations, you can actually see that she is not apologetic or remorseful about her actions, instead repeats the same behavior again and again.
- You’ve discussed with family and friends about her behavior and gleaned their advice. An outside opinion is always a good idea in these situations.
- After having a few smaller discussions, you’ve had a sit-down heart-to-heart with her to explain how you felt and why you felt that way. Even after this firm conversation, she has not changed her ways and some of the bad bridesmaid traits are still present.
The BIG question: How do you fire a bad bridesmaid?
Apart from telling your friend that she won’t be a bridesmaid, the next worst thing is firing her. So if you have finally reached the conclusion that your bridesmaid is not what you think you wanted or needed for that matter, and you need to let her go. Here are a few steps on how you can fire a bad bridesmaid in the most painless way possible:
- If you plan to fire your bridesmaid, the best way to go about it is to do it face-to-face, as proper communication is key to solving this issue. This way you will also let her know that you care enough to let her know in person and you can easily avoid any misunderstandings.
- Before just straightforwardly saying she is fired from her duties, you need to build up a proper foundation for why you are doing it. Explain to her how her actions have led you to this conclusion and how you need to let her go in order to think clearly. Give her the reasons why you are feeling the way you are.
- You might be inclined to lash out at her due to the build-up of anger or frustration, but it is best to stay calm and avoid being dramatic.
- Instead of confronting her in front of other people, have this discussion with her privately. This way you won’t embarrass her or make her feel uncomfortable and mortified, and you can also calmly tell her why you are doing it.
- You need to be truthful and honest with her while you are breaking the bad news. Don’t just make up lies or feed information that is incorrect in order to get rid of her. However, don’t be ruthless or disrespectful when you are letting her go. It might be a blow to her that she is not your bridesmaid anymore, so you need to be gentle and polite with her at this time.
- Once you have clearly expressed yourself, it is now time to listen to her side of the story. It is possible that she has explanations for her behavior or attitude. It is imperative that you give her the chance to explain herself.
- After you have listened to her side of the story, empathize with her. Answer her questions if she has any. This way you will make her feel appreciated as a friend and salvage your bond and there will be no harsh feelings left in between. After all, your bridesmaid might have incurred some costs related to the wedding, so be nice and polite. Remind her that you still love her and want her to remain friends with you (if that’s true, of course!)
Having the right bridesmaid can make you feel as if you are on the top of the world because she is someone who will easily manage your burden with pleasure and grace. However, in case your gut feeling tells you that you have made a wrong decision, don’t shy away from doing what you need to do.
Have you ever had to fire a bad bridesmaid? If so, how did you deal with this nerve-wracking situation? Share with us your story in the comments below!